Friendships. Wonderful things aren’t they? But when do you know that a friendship should end?
I mean you have the obvious reasons, such as if a massive argument beyond repair has happened, or if the friend has done something unforgivable. But there’s a lot of other reasons that hint a friendship should end, reasons that aren’t so obvious.
Think about this scenario:
You have a friend. You are super close, they know everything there is to know about you. It was amazing to start off with. Heck you even lived together. You could trust them with your darkest secrets. Sounds great, right?
But it’s not all that amazing. Why?
Because you have this small doubt they can’t be trusted. Not in the sense that they can’t keep a secret, but with the other things they do.
You can ask them to hang out, but you have to keep checking that they will show up, because they’ve shown many times that they will bail. I mean, yeah that doesn’t seem too bad, people make plans that change, but what if it’s every single time?
Or a situation where you really need them with you and they ignore you the morning they are meant to be with you? That’s not right, is it? If they are meant to be a good friend, they should be there for you, right?
Or you have your birthday and they don’t show up to celebrate with you, even though you’ve been talking about it for months. They hype it up that they have made amazing plans, but when the day comes around, they don’t even text you.
Reading this you might be thinking “they are obvious signs that they aren’t good friends?” And yes, looking back on it now, I can tell that the signs are obvious. But in the moment, living it, it wasn’t clear because although they had a reputation of bailing and not being there, there were times where we had the most amazing times, full of laughter and joy. Those moments were perfect. You thought you’d be friends for life.
“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.“ –Simon Sinek
But do the good out weigh the bad? Definitely not. Because what’s the point of a friendship if you don’t think you can trust them fully? What’s the point of a friendship if you’re sad, you ask if you can call them, and they just ignore you?
A friend, a best friend especially, is meant to be there when you need them. That’s the whole point of a friendship. And yes, all friendships have good, bad and ugly points, but at what point do you decide to end the friendship?
I guess there’s not a point to this blog post, just something that’s been playing on my mind recently, so I ask this question:
When do you think a friendship should be over?